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Are you indecisive?
#1
Are you indecisive and do you have a theory on it?

This problem bothered me terribly a few years ago. I spoke to a psychologist and she said something to the effect of 'we can only make the best decision at that time' which didn't mean much to me.
Now, after mbti I have made peace with this condition.
I now see it as a direct war between my Ti and inferior Fe. I'm processing the decisions logically yet I have a emotional side telling me to do what I want. Eg, buying a car. Ti says, get car A it's economical and good value for money. Fe says get car B because it looks great and it's the one you are drawn to. This battle can go on for ages, both sides seem equally strong. (Though Ti wins mostly just because 'logic rules') And there is no 'right' decision as whatever side loses will punish me later. Sometimes I get lucky, for eg. Car B might have all the qualities of car A as well. In these circumstances I can make the decision very quickly.
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#2
Am I indecisive? Oh, yeah. I drive everyone around me nuts. "Simple" decisions can take days for me and big things can take months or even years. To make a decision is to find a perfect solution to the question. Very few questions have perfect solutions and most questions themselves need to be examined to make sure that they're right. Until I get that sense of completeness and rightness to a decision I am very uncomfortable choosing one course of action over another.
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#3
I definitely am. I think of it as a result of being a perceiver. While we do have 'judging' qualities because of primary Ji, our extraverted preference is still for perceiving. When I'm unable to make a decision, it's usually because I'm paralysed by the fear that I might have overlooked some crucial bit of data, and I'll make the wrong choice as a result of lacking information.
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#4
(05-19-2013, 09:54 AM)Accretiondisk Wrote: I now see it as a direct war between my Ti and inferior Fe. I'm processing the decisions logically yet I have a emotional side telling me to do what I want.

What a clear perspective! Love it. I am going through that 'just' choosing a Gym. My current Gym is a pay up front for the whole year, circuits based, personal training for free, limited opening hours, women only gym. It has done me great for 2 years. But I want more now that I'm fitter. The new option is a pay monthly, cheaper, more equipment, 24 hour - but you're on your own unless you pay for PT.

Logic and needs state move to the new gym. But I feel i'm resistant to the change and whilst I avoid mindless chatting and attention, I feel/think I will miss the interaction. I work alone, I do most exercise alone but I don't want to feel isolated. Whoa, theres the emotion Rolleyes

(05-19-2013, 03:48 PM)Watch Key Phone Wrote: I definitely am. I think of it as a result of being a perceiver. While we do have 'judging' qualities because of primary Ji, our extraverted preference is still for perceiving. When I'm unable to make a decision, it's usually because I'm paralysed by the fear that I might have overlooked some crucial bit of data, and I'll make the wrong choice as a result of lacking information.

Even though I tell myself and my INFJ husband that the decision is not life and death, if I sign up for the new one and change my mind all that is lost is a rejoining fee, it still paralyses me! I don't WANT to make a wrong decision. I HAVE to account for everything as Watch Key Phone noted. I am getting much better as I accept these things, but I will still feel an amount of failure if I make the wrong choice after logically weighing it all up.
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#5
It's amazing how we treat almost every decision as an important one. Even in simple things we can't help getting the feeling that there's only one 'right' decision. As so accurately brought out that fear of overlooking something is intense!
I think because we are so good at looking at things from all angles and considering different possibilities, this puts us in a trickier position. There seems to be so much more to process.
On a curious note, I once got into the whole left brain vs right brain fad. I'm sure there is some merit but I believe the science is oversimplified. My test came up equal brained! The profile said I would be indicisive as neither hemisphere took the lead. So an interesting tid bit there.
I sometimes feel like Spock, but a version that can't overrule it's human side Big Grin
Anyways, nice to know I'm not the only one. I also have a very frustrated family that rolls their eyes as I engage in my 'what if?' dialogue out loud. I have also learned to get very specific instructions when running an errand for other people, as I can't decide for myself deciding for another is even worse. I will also ask them their preferences on all the alternate possibilities I can conceive. Eg,
Them- please get me a milkshake and a doughnut
Me- what type of each?
Them- caramel, cinnamon doughnut.
Me- what if I can't get that?
Them- then, chocolate and jam doughnut.
Me- What if they don't do milkshakes and they've sold out of doughnuts?
Them- ?!@#%!
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#6
(05-20-2013, 09:18 AM)Accretiondisk Wrote: It's amazing how we treat almost every decision as an important one. Even in simple things we can't help getting the feeling that there's only one 'right' decision. As so accurately brought out that fear of overlooking something is intense!
I think because we are so good at looking at things from all angles and considering different possibilities, this puts us in a trickier position. There seems to be so much more to process.
On a curious note, I once got into the whole left brain vs right brain fad. I'm sure there is some merit but I believe the science is oversimplified. My test came up equal brained! The profile said I would be indicisive as neither hemisphere took the lead. So an interesting tid bit there.
I sometimes feel like Spock, but a version that can't overrule it's human side Big Grin
Anyways, nice to know I'm not the only one. I also have a very frustrated family that rolls their eyes as I engage in my 'what if?' dialogue out loud. I have also learned to get very specific instructions when running an errand for other people, as I can't decide for myself deciding for another is even worse. I will also ask them their preferences on all the alternate possibilities I can conceive. Eg,
Them- please get me a milkshake and a doughnut
Me- what type of each?
Them- caramel, cinnamon doughnut.
Me- what if I can't get that?
Them- then, chocolate and jam doughnut.
Me- What if they don't do milkshakes and they've sold out of doughnuts?
Them- ?!@#%!

Yes, that's exactly the kind of thing that happens with me. If I don't have a strong preference or I'm having trouble making the decision, I will sometimes try to leave it completely up to others. A common one in my house is "What do you want for dinner?". I can't answer a vague question like that, there are all sorts of hidden pieces of information that I'd need to answer properly. For example, when my mum asks me it's probably because she's just been looking in the kitchen cupboards to see what we have. But I don't know what we have. When that happens I just say that I don't care or can't answer. My family have got used to my incessant indecision, but it doesn't mean they're happy about it. Tongue

And I completely agree about Spock. I've talked about that before, I think Spock is probably the best way to explain our personality using a handy pre-existing character.
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#7
(05-20-2013, 09:18 AM)Accretiondisk Wrote: On a curious note, I once got into the whole left brain vs right brain fad. I'm sure there is some merit but I believe the science is oversimplified. My test came up equal brained! The profile said I would be indicisive as neither hemisphere took the lead. So an interesting tid bit there.
I got the same results! Perhaps there is some merit in this theory?

(05-20-2013, 09:18 AM)Accretiondisk Wrote: Them- please get me a milkshake and a doughnut
Me- what type of each?
Them- caramel, cinnamon doughnut.
Me- what if I can't get that?
Them- then, chocolate and jam doughnut.
Me- What if they don't do milkshakes and they've sold out of doughnuts?
Them- ?!@#%!
Sounds familiar Big Grin

I find that I often put off things like answering emails, etc. because I don't want to decide. I just like to leave it and I'll decide when I get there, or right before I need to, and just go with it. It's more spontaneous. My mom HATES it Smile
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#8
People share their experiences in order to share with others as well. In this way there is discount papers that can present all the ideas to show them very manner fully.
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#9
Oh yes! Not always of course, but sometimes this just killing me. I work on it because I don't want my life to be like this.
May the force be with you
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