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Does anyone relate to this quote?
#1
From the movie "As Good As It Gets"

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man. And I take away reason and accountability.

I'm just curious if anyone here relates in any way to this quote. I remember the first time I heard it in the movie and feeling like I should be appalled as a woman. Generalizing unfairly always gets under my skin....however. There are times when I do relate to this idea. I don't want to, but when I think about how the "average" female problem solves, thinks about conflict, etc. I have to say some of the reactions I've experienced are spot on with this idea. It could be because females are stereotyped as more emotional creatures and males are not. My thinking has been typically categorized as more "male" but aren't men more socially conditioned into that non-emotional role? Aren't women typically socially conditioned to be more emotionally focused? If both of those things are mostly true, can I trust that I (and they, for that matter) naturally lean toward one extreme versus another? Just some food for thought.
Trust no one, fear nothing.
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#2
(11-06-2015, 04:11 PM)innievee Wrote: From the movie "As Good As It Gets"

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man. And I take away reason and accountability.

I'm just curious if anyone here relates in any way to this quote. I remember the first time I heard it in the movie and feeling like I should be appalled as a woman. Generalizing unfairly always gets under my skin....however. There are times when I do relate to this idea. I don't want to, but when I think about how the "average" female problem solves, thinks about conflict, etc. I have to say some of the reactions I've experienced are spot on with this idea. It could be because females are stereotyped as more emotional creatures and males are not. My thinking has been typically categorized as more "male" but aren't men more socially conditioned into that non-emotional role? Aren't women typically socially conditioned to be more emotionally focused? If both of those things are mostly true, can I trust that I (and they, for that matter) naturally lean toward one extreme versus another? Just some food for thought.

Ugh. I hate that quote. I hear it so often as a blanket statement when men want to be dismissive about something that they don't want to take the time to understand about someone who happens to be about a woman. It basically states that all women are immature and stupid. In general, everyone will have have moments when they don't want to be reasonable or accountable for anything. It could be out of fear, being overworked and exhausted, or just that they don't like that other person or people enough to care what their opinion is. I don't think that anyone should feel guilty about being their true selves. And that whole thing about societal conditioning, is a huge load of BS.

For example, my sister recently went to one of those "no-haggle" places to buy a used car. She asked if she should ask them to lower the price anyway if she felt that it not a good deal at that price but liked the car enough to try. I told her yes. Turns out, the manager and the sales guy basically talked down to her (because she is quite young) about how they "price cars according the national average". At that point, I told her to walk away because CLEARLY these morons have no idea no averages work.

Traditional norms are what people make them to be and it takes people who have the courage to step outside the norm to reset the standard. Are there are driven, ambitious women who people might call "masculine"? Yes. Are there sensitive, warm men who people might call "feminine"? Yes. I don't know about you or anyone else on this board but I have never wanted to be average so the idea that I'm an outlier doesn't bother me at all.
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#3
No, that quote fills me with disgust. I think I die a little inside every time I hear stuff like this.
I know what you mean, because when you think of a stereotype like that, your mind immediately looks for examples. It's very easy to think of an over-emotional woman who makes stupid, impulsive decisions, and a calm, thoughtful man who thinks things through.
But as a mental exercise, I try to think of counterexamples every time I hear stereotypes like this, and it helps me see how much people just believe what they want to believe. I've known plenty of people who fit their gender stereotypes. I've also known tons of over-emotional, impulsive, thoughtless men, and level-headed, thoughtful, logical women. But confirmation bias makes our brains see those as exceptions, rather than the norm, because we don't want to challenge what we already "know."
Women's good decisions are overlooked, and their bad decisions attributed to their gender and inadequate lady brain. Men's good decisions are seen as natural for them, and their bad decisions are attributed to them as an individual. One man's incompetence is never seen a reason that men in general are unfit for a high-level position, but one woman is expected to represent all women's abilities.
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#4
(02-06-2016, 01:13 PM)AcuteCare Wrote: Yes. I don't know about you or anyone else on this board but I have never wanted to be average so the idea that I'm an outlier doesn't bother me at all.

This exactly. I enjoy being an outlier more than I probably should but it does backfire at times.

I really hate that I've had moments of identifying with the quote not because it is necessarily true but because, speaking purely from my personal experience with some of the females in my life, they fall into that stereotype when they don't have to. I've watched them figuratively throw up their hands and ask a man for an opinion about something. That opinion matches the one they had already but then they act like HE came and really shed some light. Or when a decision needs to be made they allow men to bulldoze their opinion as the correct one and follow along like sheep as if they had no way of working it out on their own. Those are the times when this quote comes bubbling up to the top of my mind. I want to just scream at them "You can think better than this, WTF!!"

Other times its about situations with relationships. I've had conversations where the woman I was talking to tells me all the ways that she has given in a relationship and never gotten anything back and the dares to ask me if I think she should stay with the guy. Clearly....NO. Stuff like that, as if they don't have a reasonable bone in their bodies or they've decided not to use the ones they do have. Granted, I know that when it comes to love we can all get a bit nuts, but at some point we have to take responsibility for how we contribute to disfunction and the experiences I'm having don't show that happening a lot.

But, as PallasAthena said this could all be confirmation bias rearing its ugly head in this moment in time. Thank you both for you responses.
Trust no one, fear nothing.
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#5
Good quote.
Reminds me of another one: men who have understood women aren't men likely to want to marry.

Maybe calling statistics and life experience "stereotypes" can be good too, for some.
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#6
When I'm increduxasperated and decide to deconstruct, I have this way of raising one eyebrow slowly enough that it reaches its max height only at the climax of the tirade. This is a thing you should keep in mind.

This is kind of a long dead thread. But someone decided to play Jesus and raise it from the dead, so:

Take a goddamn look at the male/female ratio of Darwin award ”winners." Then tell me with a straight face that men are more reasonable then women. *That's* a statistic for you. –_–

Look at which sex fills our prisons. And do car insurance companies charge male teens higher rates because they're more accountable than those lucky level–headed ladies who aren't stuck producin' mammoth–killin' tetosterone in the 21st century?

Friend (and I say that ironically) I'm a dude and I'll be the first to admit it. *I* might be more rational than the average male or female, but the average female is more rational than the average male.

My eyebrow won't go any higher, so, good day.

And welcome to the forum.
I came up with a very clever signature, as a matter of fact it's cleveritude was so clever that merely listening it would cause you to ascend to godhood. But then I forgot it, so instead you can listen to my gibbering inanities. I'm sorry.
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