Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
INTP and housework (mother problems)
#1
Sad 
Hi everyone,

I decided to ask you guys and gals about the struggle my boyfriend has with the housework and his mother.

He (25) is living at home (with mother, father and younger sister-17 years), searching for the job at the momen. Recently when I visited they had a fight about not picking his sister up from school immediately because she can't wait 30min in the city an mother as the one that does all the job went to get her. INTP brother is mad at the sister, because she accused him of not taking care of her couple of bays before and had emotional outburst (crying and yelling). Therefore the mother is now angry because the older brother did not help her by going to get the sister.

Now both the sister and brother are quite lazy and both admit that, however now the accuse one another who do more work and looks like they are not going to reconcile. INTP can hardly wait to get a job and move out of here... I noticed he do really operate fine on his own; he studied abroad for 5 years and he was doing just fine by himself.

I want them to reconcile (brother, mother and sister) but I don't know how to help. I stand on INTP side as I understand him, however I want for everyone to get along. How INFJ of me, heh

Feel free to ask me anyting for a better understanding.
Reply
#2
The answer to this question could be very detailed and intricate and could depend on the types of mom and sister, but I'm going to sum it up the way I would handle it....I'd move the heck out of there ASAP. Working it out would be great, ideal even, but the easy answer here is to eliminate the problem by removing himself from the situation. Very INTP of me but...

If you really, really, want to help you may just have to step back and be supportive of him. Try to help him figure out a way to better communicate with his mother and sister. Makeup "rules for engagement" for him, if you will. There is probably a pattern to the way they communicate. Walk through that with him to try and see exactly where things fall apart and have a game plan for how to deal with it. Help him to work on setting boundaries with his family around how and when he helps out. It might not be practical for him to pick up his sister regularly, but might be practical for him to help in another way. They may want to explore that.
Trust no one, fear nothing.
Reply
#3
I've found the opposite approach to also work nicely. Sometimes listening to both parties objectively, and then relating to them how the other feels & what they meant (also objectively) can help facilitate greater understanding.
"Well if I were You-Know-Who, I'd want you to feel cut off from everyone else. Because if it's just you alone you're not as much of a threat." -Luna Lovegood
Reply
#4
(05-05-2016, 10:55 AM)leonida5 Wrote: Hi everyone,

I decided to ask you guys and gals about the struggle my boyfriend has with the housework and his mother.

He (25) is living at home (with mother, father and younger sister-17 years), searching for the job at the momen. Recently when I visited they had a fight about not picking his sister up from school immediately because she can't wait 30min in the city an mother as the one that does all the job went to get her. INTP brother is mad at the sister, because she accused him of not taking care of her couple of bays before and had emotional outburst (crying and yelling). Therefore the mother is now angry because the older brother did not help her by going to get the sister.

Now both the sister and brother are quite lazy and both admit that, however now the accuse one another who do more work and looks like they are not going to reconcile. INTP can hardly wait to get a job and move out of here... I noticed he do really operate fine on his own; he studied abroad for 5 years and he was doing just fine by himself.

I want them to reconcile (brother, mother and sister) but I don't know how to help. I stand on INTP side as I understand him, however I want for everyone to get along. How INFJ of me, heh

Feel free to ask me anyting for a better understanding.

I figure conflicts are bound to occur and the best course of action is to wait. Grudges don't usually persist over time, over anything minor anyways...though it might appear otherwise. Or maybe that lack of interference is just laziness on my part too....I dunno, tantrums are immature, and failing to pick up a sibling...irresponsible. Negative reinforcement kicks in and the mother takes the side of the one making the fuss. Seems kind of simple... I feel no need whatsoever to solve their problems for them and expect them to figure it out themselves. The whole thing is kind of silly. I tend to avoid mediating because I end up insulting everyone, mutter something like "must I do everything" and just making the experience unpleasant over all, for all involved. That, or I tend to blow the problem completely out of proportion and I come off as...."sensitive", bleh.
"It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
Reply
#5
Thank you all for replies.

I believe it is better to wait; and as always giving my full support to my INTP no matter what. I know he wants to get out of the parents house asap.

I am not bothered by his lack of housework activity, but he does help me sometimes, like cook with me and quick cleaning. I figured it out it must be low Se why you intp's don't like to do stuff and prefer to stay in your head (Ti) or talk about crazy ideas and memes (Ne), at least my boyfriend does. I don't mind doing this stuff as long Iam not too tired or grumpy - in a bad mood.
Reply
#6
The refuge is the people who move away from their country due to some factors like the inter country fight and war. The discussion forum at the platform of superiorpapers review is about the mother problem regarding many matters like caring the children etc.
Reply
#7
I have read all the comments and suggestions posted by the visitors for this article are very fine,We will wait for your next article so only.Thanks! https://royalcbd.com/washington-state/
Reply
#8
This is a great high resolution screen which you have shared for the users. Making a website is not an easy task but managing a good website is really a hard work. As far as this website is concerned, I am very happy. office and corporate buffet caterers Bath
Reply
#9
Through this type of tremendous benefits, affiliate marketers in all places have been tempted inside the universe belonging to the internet. Present realise why on top of that, considering possibly even some individuals registering with via a affiliate websites back-links will be able to bring in some funds. 토토
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)