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INFP Needing help! (Warning Fi)
#1
Soooooo...

I am an INFP and I have been WAY overthinking everything and I was hoping some level headed but understanding INTPs could give me some advice (well actually I just need a place to rant).

I am trying to plan out my whole life (a bad idea) and I can't decide on a career, or what country I want to live in or any of that big stuff... (unsurprisingly) and my emotions thought they'd get involved... and they ruined everything, now I'm second guessing myself and just generally freaking out. So basically I just wanna know where to go form here.

I'm at that stage where I'm trying to figure out who I am. I've been completely relying on other peoples opinions, but now I'm trying to strike out for myself so to speak and I'm not sure how to go about it.

*BTW I'm also questioning my type (again) and was wondering if there is a really accurate test out there, I last did one on 16 personalities, but I saw a post on here suggesting it was not the best one?
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#2
(07-30-2016, 08:08 AM)Touche Wrote: I can't decide on a career, or what country I want to live in or any of that big stuff... (unsurprisingly) and my emotions thought they'd get involved... and they ruined everything, now I'm second guessing myself and just generally freaking out. So basically I just wanna know where to go form here.
I'm not entirely convinced that anyone really knows what they want to do unless they're totally passionate and driven. I can't think of a single one of my friends (of all personality types and varying ages) who is not having this same problem, and most have been having this for years.

The most generalized advice of course is "do what you're in love with and the money will follow," but even that is not really accurate. It should be something more like, "do something that makes you feel fulfilled, because then even if you're not raking in the dough you'll still feel like your life is worth living, and you'll be better equipped to make the most of your situation."

Side note: INTPs are the worst resource for serious plans lol. You're more likely to get "why settle; be a vagabond" here than anything resembling clear instructions; plus, something like this is really very personal, and without knowing anything about you or who you are or what your strengths/weaknesses/passions are nobody could possibly map out your life for you in a way that makes you truly happy...
"Well if I were You-Know-Who, I'd want you to feel cut off from everyone else. Because if it's just you alone you're not as much of a threat." -Luna Lovegood
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#3
Why settle? Be a vagabond.
Sorry. I just had to say that.
Moon Moon has a valid point, in that you just asked a group of perceivers you've never met to help you with planning out your life. Unfortunately (for you that is, I think I'll leave here feeling rather fulfilled) I've taken it on to help you.
You asked if there was a completely reliable online test to find your type. The answer is no. The tests primary use is to find a ball-park approximation, after which you swap the letters out one or two at a time (starting with the ones that came out weakest) to see if a different type suits you better. If you decide that one does, great. If not, still great. The purpose of type psychology is to learn your own strengths and weaknesses and learn that other people possess different ones.
(You may have noticed that I started with your post script, that's because I'm working my way up your post from the bottom, which might seem a little weird but it's what I do.)
"Who am I?" is perhaps the most fundamental question. (judging fundamentals by what is most important to a given person) A lot of wise people died without an answer to it. I would recommend the same method that I'd recommend for solving any problem, namely the scientific method. First, form a testable hypothesis. Or several. (example: I am....) Then, through a series of experiments/tests determine if these hypothesises are true. Repeat until you have a fairly good idea of your character.
These experiments should have yielded some useful data about what you enjoy doing. This should help you decide on a career, and a country to live in. But actually...why settle? Planning is by no means a bad thing, and everyone loves to stress the importance of long term goals, but are you actually going to stick to said goals? And subtlety different yet far more important: Do you want to? Drifting aimlessly through a sea of confusion probably wouldn't be much fun. But neither would following a strict set of arbitrary rules, even if they are self-defined. You never know what might crop up, or how you might change.
I prefer the short term goal. Don't try to plan your life out, because as you said yourself, that's a bad idea. Set small goals, do things that you want to, and than when you've done what you set out to do, retrospect and decide on a new one. You don't need one over arching purpose or plan to your being.
*Disclaimer* This should be at the top, probably. I am not you, and you are the only person certified to give yourself advise. If you think that anything I say makes sense, than you can have that thought. Do with it what you will. If you don't, I'll keep it.
This monster of a reply is much longer than the original post, so I'll stop here. Good luck, and have fun.
-Yordle Sandwich
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#4
(08-03-2016, 09:45 PM)Yordle Sandwich Wrote: You asked if there was a completely reliable online test to find your type. The answer is no. The tests primary use is to find a ball-park approximation, after which you swap the letters out one or two at a time (starting with the ones that came out weakest) to see if a different type suits you better. If you decide that one does, great. If not, still great.

Yes, exactly. It's much more like Hogwarts than people realize. You can be best suited for one house, but if you don't want to be in that house the Hat will put you somewhere else because it's not a science*, it's personal.

*I am aware that Psychology is generally defined as a science, but it's a "soft science," meaning its rules are not well understood (if they exist), and people are far too complex for predictions to be 100% spot on 100% of the time -- it's just "good enough" for most of the time.
"Well if I were You-Know-Who, I'd want you to feel cut off from everyone else. Because if it's just you alone you're not as much of a threat." -Luna Lovegood
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#5
Quote:BTW I'm also questioning my type (again) and was wondering if there is a really accurate test out there, I last did one on 16 personalities, but I saw a post on here suggesting it was not the best one?

Some of the better tests are from websites that type you using cognitive functions, such as <http://www.keys2cognition.com/explore.htm>.
This: <http://eilamona.com/post/128864415487/mbti-tests-reviews> is a pretty decent overview of the most popular MBTI tests, with explanations of their accuracies, strengths, and weaknesses, but the best way to figure out your type is by typing yourself using the cognitive functions.

This: <http://eilamona.com/post/103036147412/what-particular-things-do-you-look-for-when-trying> explains what the different cognitive functions look like in real life. If you're serious about figuring out your best-fit type based upon thinking processes (rather than by using vague questions about stereotypical behaviors), then typing yourself is going to be your best bet.

If you're wondering how to use this, start by eliminating extraverted functions as functions that aren't very strong in you. Then, eliminate the introverted functions that aren't very strong. Next, write out all the types that you could be based upon the functions that you haven't eliminated, and eliminate the ones that you definitely know you aren't. (i.e. when I was typing myself, I was left with Ne, Ti, Si, Fi as possible dom/aux functions. I knew that I was definitely not an ENFP, so I crossed that out, and I also crossed out all of the Si types because Ne was the only extraverted function I had left. My choices were narrowed down to INTP, ENTP, and INFP.)

When you're done with this long process of elimination, look at the types that are left and determine their inferior functions. When people are stressed out, they are said to be "in the grip" of their inferior function, so try to figure out what you look like when you're "in the grip". When you're "in the grip" of an inferior, you basically binge on the function/ use it unhealthily. This page: <http://funkymbtifiction.tumblr.com/post/89964354770/could-you-explain-what-being-in-the-grip-looks> gives a good explanation of each inferior function's "grip" state. This is how I finally stopped constantly wondering if I was an INTP or not; after my final elimination, I realized that I definitely had an Fe inferior. (This is also how I type everyone I meet, including my cats.......... just kidding, but one is totally an ESFP.)

On the other hand, while I know lots about type theory, I can't help you with figuring out who you are or what you're going to do with your life, since I'm still trying to figure that stuff out myself. I do hope my vomit of words will be in some way useful to your quest to find your MBTI type, though.
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