Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Would You
#1
"Would You", a poem by Yordle Sandwich

Would you care, if I was a bear?
Would you chat, if I was a cat?
Would you smile, if I was a crocodile?
Would you say, "Oh no," if I was an avocado?
Would you mark, if I was a shark?
Would you cry, If I was a pie?
Would you laugh, if I was a spiny anteater?
Would you pine, if I was a tree?
Would you run, if I was a pun?
Would you play golf, if I was a horse?
Would you jump, if I was a mantis shrimp?
Would you care, if I was a bear?

Quote:"The marvel is not that the bear dances well, but that the bear dances at all."
— Russian proverb

Shel Silverstein Wrote:Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your comb.
Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain't been there before.
Reply
#2
Hey, nice poem!
The mantis shrimp is, in fact, one of my favorite animals, and hardly anyone even knows it exists.
So yay for mantis shrimp cameos!

Not to be a grammar nazi, but it would be "if I were", since it's a hypothetical. :/
Reply
#3
Heh, clever. Enjoyable. The repetition makes a fun mental image of the speaker. I can almost imagine someone asking those questions all in a row as the listener becomes increasingly befuddled... It also makes light of the "would you __ if ___" questions people tend to ask in relationships for "proving love" or some such nonsense. Particularly with the repeat of the opening line which initially seems rather innocent but feels ludicrous at the end.

This is but a ramble, but one might argue that it intends to emphasize serious intent in discussions rather than making use of radically unrealistic situations to further an already existing and known status.

It projects a rather Seuss-ish aura as well.
Not knowing the place, I set out for the land of my dreams.
Having arrived at the land of my dreams, I found I did not know the place.
Reply
#4
Very cool poem! I have seen your post for the first time and I really like it! I believe that you could try yourself as a writer at https://au.edubirdie.com/annotated-bibli...ng-service. I think you'll like it there and you will not have any difficulties.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)