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What is going on in his head?!
#1
I was dating this guy and we had the most amazing connections I don't understand why he isn't willing to see where things could go with us.
I met him about 6 months ago. We hit it off right away, our first date didn't end until the early hours of the morning because we didn't want to leave each other. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. He had just moved to Wisconsin from Florida for a job. The city he lived in was about 2 hours away but he came to see me every weekend for about two months. We had so much fun together I could definitely see it going somewhere. But he kept mentioning not loving Wisconsin and the cold. He was talking about job offers in other states. I told him that if he was going to leave we should stop seeing each other. He said he wasn't sure what he was going to do but since I've been wanting to leave Wisconsin for the longest time he asked if I'd want to join him on his little adventure and we can continue getting to know each other. I told him that's a very big decision and we'll just wait and see how it goes. He decided to stay since he was under contract at his current job.
We continued to see each other, he even offered to have me live with him until I found a new place. He asked me to travel out of the country with him, which I agreed to. He also offered to meet my parents. His friends came to visit for a week which was a blast. Everything was so amazing and only kept getting better. He was constantly telling me how great everything about me and with us was and how he had never experienced anything like it before. He even referred to it as perfect. We seemed to balance each other out and actually make an effort to understand each other. He would always go out of his way to make sure I was ok and comfortable. I was having trouble opening up to him. It's hard for me to trust people, especially if I'm not certain if they are going to stick around. I was really trying though and was very honest with him about it. He was more than willing to be patient.
The week before our trip and the day before he was supposed to meet my parents I asked him to make things exclusive and he said he can't because he is moving away.
(I should mention he did say that he felt depressed. He called into work a few day which is something he never does. I only saw him on the weekends so I didn't notice it much. He worked with a bunch of married people with kids so he didn't have many friends here. He said the only good thing here was me.

I was incredibly upset and we got into a fight. I stopped talking to him since he said he said he didn't want to be with me but he acted as if nothing changed. He still tried to talk to me every day. I eventually decided to still go on the trip and it was amazing. We continued to see each other as if nothing had changed until he left a few weeks ago. He wanted us to still talk and visit each other. He even made plans for us to travel together in the future. Before he left he told me that if I ever wanted to move to Florida that he would be there for me. I asked him if he wanted me to come to Florida and he said he can't answer that because I have my life and family here. He kept making plans about what we would do when I come to visit him. But he also kept referring to us as friend and talking about my future without him in it and me dating other people. It really upset me and I told him I wanted more than that and I wasn't able to offer him just a friendship right now. Before he left I told him we had to stop talking. He was incredibly upset and kept tearing up. He kept saying he hated me but not really. I was very surprised by how upset he got. He had always said he cares so much about me but i get so many mixed signals from him. I wasn't sure what else to do. We wanted different things.
He kept saying that I still have a lot to figure out about life and what I want and my family is here (my mother is sick) so that's why we can't be together. These are things that he never actually discussed with me, He just decided this on his own. I've been mentioning that I want to leave Wisconsin since the day we met so I can't help but think there is more to this. Everything he has said and done makes it seem like he cares so much and wants nothing more than to keep me in his life. He was in a 2 year relationship than ended about a year ago. She left to a different state for a job. He still has lots of pictures of her on his Facebook and it still says he's in a relationship. So I'm not sure if that is affecting him? I did write him an email a week ago explaining everything I am confused about. I know intp have a hard time with feelings so I tried to stick to the facts and keep feelings out of the email. I did ask if he had an an actually logical reason as to why we could only be friends. I mentioned all the things that made us so compatible that we had both talked about previously. I asked a lot of things. He was very happy to hear from me and said that the email made him feel less like a piece of garbage that I tossed to the side. He has been telling me he will respond but hasn't yet. He texts me a little thing every day, random pictures or telling me that he has spent all day thinking but still no response to the email. It has been 6 days and I still haven't heard back. I'm not sure what to think or what he wants from me. Should I expect a response or should I just let him go?
I hope I described the situation well enough for you to get a good idea of what's going on.
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#2
I'm new to this forum and I know this question may no longer be relevant but it struck a cord with me.

You said that if he was going to leave, you should stop seeing each other. I interpreted that as your life is in Wisconsin with your family. I know from personal experience that one of the main things that make me feel like crap is thinking that I pushed somebody to make a huge decision before they were ready or influenced their decision in some way. Even stuff as simple as where to eat lunch is hard for me to state my opinion if I know it might sway people just because I said it. And I hate people waiting for me when I'm not certain (which is nearly 100% of the time) that I will ever choose or be ready, so I try to be as unbiased as possible and also communicate to the person that I've removed myself from THEIR equation. I know how long it takes me to get over something and I don't want the other person to possibly experience pain when (I think) I can shoulder it all or at least most of it.

And I just experienced the whole "let's be exclusive" freak-in recently. For some reason, the idea of officially focusing on one person (even though that is actually the only person I'm focusing on) made me totally freeze and my mind went blank while my emotions went berserk internally (thankfully I didn't have any public outbursts). I'm still trying to figure out if it's the idea of not having options or if it's the idea that somebody would be focusing exclusively on me that is causing this....whatever.

Also, people's expectations are a sore point for me so I would feel pressured if somebody was trying to get me to answer a question and started adding extra facts that would obviously back up one answer to the question but didn't add anything to the actual question. Like comments about how well we understand each other or click following a request (demand?) to be exclusive (as was my personal experience). And I know that I personally will be less likely to do something if somebody else expects it from me. Basically, if someone expects a response, they are less likely to get it than if they had just stated a fact and then left it alone for me to pick up the nugget of information to ponder and analyse it without pressure, quietly and alone.

I also greatly dislike goodbyes (and hellos). I'm really bad at introductions and conclusions in all aspects of life and will make irrational decisions to avoid the awkwardness of it all, though that may just be me. I don't know.
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